January 27
1858 - Judge Hosea Stout describes with no disapproval how Mormons
"disguised as Indians" drag a man "out of bed with a whore and
castrated him by a square and close amputation."
1972-The New York City council killed a gay rights ordinance.
1973-A male couple in New
York City were found stabbed to death and their poodle
drowned. They were the sixth and seventh victims in a series of gruesome
murders in New York
patterned after the murders in Gerald Walker's novel Cruising.
1976- A Letter to
Editor Daily Utah Chronicle stated “God Hates Gays” I read with some interest
your article about the “gay movement”. I
simply cannot believe anyone could commend an individual who engages in
homosexuality. The Apostle Paul denounced homosexuality and the Lord said now
as then that He abhors it. The plight of
“gays” is brought on by their own acts: they who knowingly partake of this
sinful relationship do so at the risk of blotching up their lives. True, there are some who can’t cope with life
and this is their way of expressing that feeling. They should seek help not sympathy. To permit
or tolerate homosexuality in the least degree is to blind yourself to what it
does to all involved. It is a sign of a
decaying society. Sodom
and Gomorra should suffice as an example.
They were totally destroyed because their inhabitants were guilty of
this awful perversion of nature. I therefore must raise my voice against the
“gay” movement and any others like it. These people need spiritual help. Seek
God, Not Satan. Be children of light-not animals wandering in darkness-“ Richard
Hollingshaus (1/27/1976 Daily Utah Chronicle page 2)
1976- Tuesday- Letters to Editor Daily Utah Chronicle Neither my
habit nor my life style, I must never the less respond to Lorin Twede letter.
My first reaction was one of caustic amusement. I immediately envisioned a smug
self righteous, smooth cheeked youth standing on a soap box somewhere between
the Union Building and the Marriott Library defending with zeal a cold, closed,
and cruel view of sex and of persons who vary from his sense of “normal”. A
view handed down to him, no doubt, by prejudiced adults and through Christian
dogma. My second reaction was of disillusionment and frustration and came later
in the afternoon. I am 30 years old and have believed that although this attitude
of intolerance common to people of my parents’ generation, it had soften in
people my age, and had died in the NEW awareness of my younger contemporaries.
Now mellowed somewhat, I feel sad and uneasy. I had thought sex was kind of
personal communication which two individuals shared in an atmosphere of
freedom. I had believed that the how and with whom of this sharing was
something left to the desires and needs of the persons involved. Does Twede
believe that an ideal sex act involves four? A man, a woman, a fertilized egg
and an umpire? Thank God this is not and must not be the case. I shall hope
Person Twede find himself in a larger world someday. One that includes all
others, that those others are kind in understanding his perversity. Annette
Caine.
1982-Connie Marschner of the National Pro Family Coalition
testified at a congressional sub committee hearing that homosexuality is equal
to child abuse and murder.
1987-Cable Network News interviewed Russ Lane, Keith McBride, Val
Smithson, Davydd Daniels and Ben Williams, members of Wasatch Affirmation, for
a news spot concerning Affirmation and the Mormon Church.
1988- Ben Williams operated and paid for a phone mailbox system for
Unconditional Support and the other Gay groups. Its cost was $15 a month plus $10 hook up
fee. “I got a phone mail box system for Unconditional Support and the other
groups so I don’t have to use my home phone anymore. Its $15 a month plus $10
hook up fee. After work I went to the Crossroads Urban
Center to pick up some
money from Michael Ortega the center’s director. He donated his winnings from a
poker game last Friday. It was $10 and that was neat. Then I went to the
central library to read about Stonewall and Gay Liberation. I need to get more active politically to keep
Gay Pride going. Politics Equals Power. [1988 Journal of Ben Williams]
Charlene Orchard |
- Carol
Gnade Executive Director of ALCU of Utah for 11 years. Instrumental in the
Carol Gnade
Wendy Weaver |
1999-The first official memorial service for gay men killed in Nazi concentration camps took place at the site of Sachsenhausen. Approximately 300
people attended. Sachsenhausen had the largest number of gay
inmates--approximately 1,000 from 1936 to 1945.
2004 (Utah Gay Forum) Dear friends and family, It has been 12 years
that we having working getting HATE CRIME legislation passed in our state. We are one of the last states to pass HATE CRIME legislation. It is time to get it passed
this year! That requires us as a
community to unite and take a stand on this issue. I am urging everyone to get involved and
support HB 68. There is a debate
tonight. Please come and show your
support. WHAT: Hate Crime Debate WHERE: County Complex Building (2001 South State)
WHEN: Tonight January 27th TIME: 7pm SEE YOU THERE! Teinamarrie Nelson
2004 For those of you who
are interested. FIFTH ANNUAL PRIDEFEST HAS SOMETHING 'QUEER' FOR EVERYONE LOGAN,
UT - A ground-breaking documentary about gay youth in America , a look at gay subtexts in a popular
mainstream film, and an appearance by Frank DeCaro (Comedy Central's The Daily
Show) will highlight the fifth annual Pridefest of Utah State University's Gay
and Lesbian Student Resource
Center . The festival,
which runs Feb. 9-14, also is sponsored by Cache Valley
community members as well as USU gay and lesbian alumni. This year's offerings
represent "Something Queer in Everything I See," a theme emphasizing
the prominent cultural impact of the gay and lesbian communities, according to
Cy Martz, a student majoring in
public relations and festival coordinator. "We
want to let people know that gay culture affects everybody's life, whether they
recognize it or not," Martz added. The festival will feature a wide range
of documentaries, feature-length and short films, and guest speakers designed
to provide a greater cultural awareness of the impact of the lesbian, gay,
bisexual and transgendered community. All events for Pridefest 5 will be held
in the Taggart Student Center Auditorium. "The festival has traditionally
provided the motivation for individuals to become more comfortable and open
about their sexual identity," Tim
Keller, festival founder and programming
director, said, adding that he hopes that USU faculty will encourage students
to attend the various events. Exemplary
of this year's offerings is "Jim in Bold," a 2003 documentary about
Jim Wheeler, a young gay poet and artist who was the victim of homophobic
attacks during his childhood days in rural Pennsylvania . In the aftermath of Wheeler's
1997 suicide, three members of Young Gay America, inspired by the poet's work,
traveled across the country interviewing the gay youth about their experiences.
The film will be screened on Monday, February 9, 2004 at 8:30 p.m. Proceeds
from the screening will go to the Gay-Straight Student Alliance at Logan High
School . X2,
the hit 2003 sequel to X-Men will be screened on Wednesday, Feb. 11, at 8:30
p.m. Audience members will be asked to identify and discuss examples of gay
sub-texts in mainstream films, Martz said. The festival will conclude with
"Flaming Screens," an evening of clips and comedy featuring DeCaro,
whose outrageous "Out at the Movies" reviews were a favorite on
Comedy Central's "The Daily Show" for seven years. Known for his pop
culture punditry on numerous VH1 shows - most notoriously on "Britney vs.
Christina" - DeCaro is a frequent contributor to such publications as TV
Guide, The New York Times, and The Advocate. His 1996 book, "A Boy Named
Phyllis: A Suburban Memoir," was called "hilarious" by Vanity
Fair. Tickets can be purchased in advance or at the door. The cost will be $3
for matinee documentaries and $5 for feature films. Festival passes also can be
purchased for $25 for all screenings or $30 which includes the DeCaro show.
Student discounts also are available. More information and a complete festival
schedule can be found at www.usu.edu/pride/pridefest5 or by calling Cy Martz,
Cy Martz |
Tim Keller |
2004 (Utah Gay Forum) Michael, Very good point. We all get very involved protesting a Movie
Theater, but when it comes to equality, civil rights and our future. It would appear that most of us would rather
be out on a date. I'll see you tonight at 7:00. James P Hicks
2004 (Utah Gay Forum) One thing I noticed about the protest at the capital: There was NO ONE there but gay people, which means, yet again, we were only talking to our selves. While I feel these rallies are important for the morale of the community, someone else must also hear the message. KAP
2004 (Utah Gay Forum) One thing I noticed about the protest at the capital: There was NO ONE there but gay people, which means, yet again, we were only talking to our selves. While I feel these rallies are important for the morale of the community, someone else must also hear the message. KAP
2004 (Utah Gay Forum) In review of the many conversations of being
politically correct or protests. It is one thing to be skilled and eloquent
enough to tell a person you have reserved a warm seat for them in Hell and to
enjoy the trip, and get a thank you later.
It is quite another to have the balls to flat out tell them to go there
and have them clearly understand just exactly how you expect them to get there
and how long you plan on them staying. We lost the momentum almost a decade
ago, and now we’re left scrambling the last minute to keep films on screens and
to pass legislation. There is a lot to be said about safety in numbers. Ill take a protest that upsets one or two
allies a little if it means making an in your face statement that gets results
and makes the majority feel a little uneasy any day. Besides if a little protest makes allies
squirm rather than join in then perhaps they are not allies. Then again that is a formula of capitalism,
which brings us back to square one. It has been heard more regularly that If we
don't know who and what we are, then how can we expect anyone outside our
circles understand our needs Instead of
one cohesive whole, we are becoming more often than not a collection of related
ever growing "sexual minority" communities glued together by a common
cause.
Donald Steward |
Michael Picardi |
2006 Another wine event this week Hey all. We are having another "Metro Mixer"
this Friday (and every Friday) at the Panache Wine Bar in the Wells Fago Building at 300 South Main St . This one is about wine
and wine pairings with the Panache wine
expert as a special guest. They will serve 3 wine tastes for something like $5 or $6. There will also be
free all-you-can eat tapas. This weekly
event is for people who would like to wind down at a wine/martini bar at the end of the week and
meet and mingle with other like-minded gay men and lesbians. We are targetting
professionals, business owners, community activists and the like. Hope you can
make it! METRO MIXER Panache Wine Bar, 299 South Main St Level 2 Friday, Jan. 27
4:30-6:30pm
Jennifer Nuttall |
2006 KIM RUSSO, PRINCE ROYALE 23 LEGACY, MISS GAY UTAH 22 SEAN
LIQUE, CROWN PRINCE 30 ALONG WITH THE ROYAL COURT OF THE GOLDEN SPIKE EMPIRE
PRESENTS…“HUMANISM” A BENEFIT FOR THE PEOPLE’S CONCERN FUND JANUARY 27TH AT THE
PAPERMOON* (3737 SOUTH STATE) 9:00 pm SHOWTIME $5.00 SUGGESTED DONATION RAFFLE
PRIZES AND SALT LAKES MOST TALENTED PERFORMERS!!! COME AND HELP SUPPORT A
VALUABLE CHARITY THAT OUTREACHES TO OTHERS IN THE COMMUNITY *A PRIVATE CLUB FOR
THE BENEFIT OF ITS MEMBERS
2007 Wasting
the people's time Public Forum Letter Salt Lake Tribune Once again Sen. Chris
Buttars and lobbyist Gayle Ruzicka are spewing their hateful rhetoric about
gay-straight alliances in Utah
high schools. As a taxpayer and a parent of a high school student, I don't need
or want our Legislature wasting valuable time on these kinds of so-called moral
issues. If I want moral guidance I will go see my bishop, pastor, priest or
other spiritual counselor, and I encourage all Utahns to do the same. I ask the
Legislature to use the few days they have on the Hill to worry about ways to
deliver better teacher salaries, some kind of affordable health care for
everyone, bringing higher-paying jobs to our state, and totally eliminating the
sales tax on food. Stop wasting the people's time! Jeff Geigle Richfield
2007 That way Public Forum Letter Imagine an extracurricular
club at Generic Utah High, the Left-Right Alliance. The organization seeks to
raise the awareness and tolerance of right-handed students toward left-handed
students. The club is a safe haven for the lefties, who can get together
without fear, petition the school for left-handed desks, and show the
right-handed students that they are all normal people ("Lawmakers take a
new run at bill on gay clubs," Tribune, Jan. 24). Enter Sen. Chris
Buttars, R-West Jordan, quoting Matthew 25:41, "Then shall he say also
unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire,
prepared for the devil and his angels!" Convinced the alliance will
recruit students to the left-handed lifestyle, he introduces legislation to ban
clubs based on "hand orientation. " This scenario is no sillier than
Buttars' proposal to ban gay student support clubs. Left-handed people have
been considered "sinister" (from Latin, meaning "on the left
side") for thousands of years. Do we believe, in 2007, that some people
choose to become left-handed, or that they are sinister? Someday even the
Buttars of the world will figure out that gays neither choose their
orientation, nor are they morally wrong for being born that way. Jane Wolfarth
Salt Lake
City
2007 Gay: Not a choice Public Forum Letter Salt Lake
Tribune Over my life I have had many gay
friends. I once asked a friend if being gay was a lifestyle choice. He said if
it truly were a choice, there is no way that he would choose to be discriminated
against, ostracized and treated as a lesser person. He said his only true
choice was to either put on a charade or be true to himself for who he is. With
that said, gay clubs in schools are not, as Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan,
thinks, for recruiting more gays. These are support groups. A place for gay
people to realize that there are other people out there like themselves, and to
discover they are not, as some zealots would cast them, evil or freaks of
nature. With the gay teenage suicide rate already at a shameful level,
especially in strong religious communities, banning gay clubs will not only
result in continued discrimination but will result in more sorrow from
unfortunate deaths. Rob Ramage Farmington
2007 Seats are now going fast for the Fabulous Fun
Bus to Wendover, Nev. sponsored by QSaltLake and the Utah Cyber Sluts.
http://qsaltlake.com/funbus/ Saturday,
Jan 27 Leases the parking lot of Club Try-Angles at 1pm Goes to the Montego Bay
Casino and Resort Leaves Wendover at 9pm Arrives back at Club Try-Angles by
11pm. Tickets are $20 and gets: • $7 cash back • $21.95 Saturday Spectacular
Buffet with Prime Rib and more • Fun book with lucky bucks, free drinks and
other goodies The Utah Cyber Sluts will be onboard to host Bingo. Net proceeds
fo to Utah
gay and lesbian charities. Sign up at http://qsaltlake.com/funbus/ or call
1-800-806-7357 to reserve your seat.
2009 Common Ground: Ruzicka, Sutherland wage campaigns against
gay rights Backlash » Conservative groups see a common enemy BY ROSEMARY WINTERS THE SALT LAKE TRIBUNE Equality Utah's Common Ground Initiative -- a push for
legal protections for gay and transgender Utahns -- has drawn hundreds of
marchers to Capitol Hill, thousands of petition signatures and even broad-based
support in statewide opinion polls. The initiative also has ignited a backlash, led by
defenders of "traditional marriage" who want to crush the effort. Rather than "common ground," Gayle Ruzicka and
the Constitutional Defense of Marriage Alliance are touting "common
sense." And a Salt Lake City-based conservative think tank, The Sutherland
Institute, wants Utahns to stand on "sacred ground" instead. "The family is the central unit of society, and so
our efforts in this regard are ultimately to protect the traditional family and
protect marriage," said Sutherland spokesman Jeff Reynolds. Next week, his group will kick off its Sacred Ground
Initiative, a counteroffensive aimed at defeating the handful of gay-rights
measures. "The message [from opponents] is that our bills are
an attack on marriage -- which is exactly what they're not," said Will
Carlson, Equality Utah's public-policy manager. The proposed laws range from
protecting someone from being fired for being gay to establishing a statewide
domestic-partner registry. The Common Ground Initiative was dealt a major setback
Tuesday, when a Senate committee snuffed out a bill that would have allowed Utahns
to sue if a same-sex partner suffers a wrongful death. The overall initiative was crafted in response to LDS
Church statements made after the passage of Proposition 8 -- the California
ballot measure that banned gay marriage in the Golden State -- that the church
does "not object" to rights for same-sex couples such as hospital
visitation and probate rights and safeguards such as fair housing and
employment laws. A recent Salt Lake Tribune poll found 56 percent of
Utahns support extending legal protections, short of marriage, to same-sex
couples. Ruzicka, president of the Utah Eagle Forum, and Reynolds
both argue that granting any legal standing to same-sex couples -- or even
recognizing sexual orientations as protected classes -- could precipitate a court
battle to legalize gay marriage. That's what happened in California, Ruzicka said, when
the state's Supreme Court decided gay couples were entitled to wed because they
already had many of the same rights as married, straight couples. Last fall,
the court's decision to allow same-sex marriage was overturned when voters
approved Prop 8. "Common sense says that Utah's not going to make the
same mistake," Ruzicka said. She -- along with Republican Sen. Chris Buttars of West
Jordan and former GOP Rep. LaVar Christensen of Draper -- formed the
Constitutional Defense of Marriage Alliance to help pass Utah's Amendment 3,
which defined marriage in 2004 as solely between a man and a woman. This
alliance now is drafting a "common sense" rebuttal to the Common Ground
campaign. The fact that the Utah Constitution already prevents gay
marriage makes California a false comparison, notes Carlson, who insists
Equality Utah's initiative is not an end run to sue for gay marriage. The Utah Supreme Court, he said, "can't overturn the
Utah Constitution." Sacred Ground kickoff » The Sutherland Institute presents its arguments
against Equality Utah's Common Ground Initiative and rallies Utahns to oppose
the gay-rights bills. When » Feb. 5, 7-8:30 p.m. Where » Thanksgiving Point Show Barn, 3003 N.
Thanksgiving Way, Lehi. R.S.V.P. required » Call 801-355-1272 or e-mail
si@sutherlandinstitute.org. Common Ground vs. Sacred Ground What » A debate between Equality Utah and the Sutherland
Institute over gay-rights legislation. When » Feb. 19, 7 p.m., with a reception at 6:30 p.m. Where » Sutherland Moot Courtroom, University of Utah law
school, 332 S. 1400 East, Salt Lake City.
2009 Gay-rights
push suffers setback in Legislature Common ground » Buttars' committee kills
one bill, casting doubt on chances of other measures. BY ROSEMARY WINTERS THE
SALT LAKE TRIBUNE It didn't take long
for Utah gay-rights advocates, uplifted after energetic rallies and supportive
polls, to be brought down to earth. On day two of the 2009 Legislature, the
first in a series of gay-rights bills -- seemingly the least controversial
piece in the Common Ground Initiative -- died Tuesday in the Senate judiciary
committee. The early setback doesn't bode well for Equality Utah's campaign,
possibly the most expansive legislative push for gay rights in state history. The
very fact that this didn't even get out of Senate committee . . .is clearly a
bad sign for other parts of this initiative," University of Utah political
science professor Matthew Burbank said. Equality Utah's drive -- crafted in
response to statements the LDS Church has made that it does not oppose some
rights for same-sex couples -- includes creating a statewide domestic-partner
registry and protecting someone from being fired or evicted for being gay. Sen.
Scott McCoy's SB32 would have amended state law so that financial dependents --
besides spouses, parents and children -- could sue if a breadwinner suffers a
wrongful death. The measure would have benefited same-sex couples, but also
other nontraditional households, such as one in which a grandmother relies on a
grandson for financial support. A standing-room-only crowd listened to nearly
two hours of testimony before the committee, led by Republican Sen. Chris
Buttars, voted 4-2 against sending the measure to the Senate floor. Only McCoy,
who is openly gay, and fellow Salt Lake City Democrat Ross Romero voted for the
bill. Buttars, who was lobbied by a group of gay and bisexual activists at his
West Jordan home earlier this month, didn't comment on McCoy's proposal during
the meeting. Opponents likened the bill to a "slippery slope" and a
"dirty shirt" in a laundry basket of marital rights that could lead
courts to justify legalizing same-sex marriage, similar to rulings in
Massachusetts, California and Connecticut. "SB32 will begin the process in
Utah," Stan Rasmussen of The Sutherland Institute told the committee.
"We simply do not share common ground in chipping away at the definition
of marriage." But McCoy argued that couldn't happen in Utah, where there
is a constitutional amendment forbidding gay marriage. The constitution would
"trump" the Utah Supreme Court's ability to change that policy, he
noted. "Amendment 3 actually serves as the bulwark against that slippery
slope," McCoy said. A gay Iraq War veteran, a gay father of four and a
Draper mother of a lesbian daughter made impassioned pleas for the bill. "I'm
very invested in this country, which I love and put on a uniform for and was
willing to give my life to defend," said Jeff Key, a former U.S. Marine.
"If you put yourself on the opposing side of allowing the liberty and
freedom that this country stands for, then you've put yourself on the wrong
side of history." After the
committee meeting, McCoy concluded his colleagues' votes were "fear-based."
Regardless, he plans to push the measure again in 2010. Equality Utah executive
director Mike Thompson stayed upbeat about the remaining three bills in the
initiative. "I still believe we are standing on common ground," he
said. "The Tribune poll and our poll demonstrate that the average Utahn
supports what we're doing. The Legislature just needs to catch up." Three bills remain in the Common Ground
Initiative: In addition to asking the Governor's Office to extend employee
health benefits to domestic partners of state workers, Equality Utah is pushing
three bills in the 2009 legislative session: Fair housing and employment » Make
it illegal to fire an employee or evict a tenant for being gay or transgender.
Sponsor: Rep. Christine Johnson, D-Salt Lake City. Domestic-partner rights »
Create a statewide domestic-partner registry that would provide rights of
inheritance, insurance and fair housing. Sponsor: Rep. Jennifer Seelig, D-Salt
Lake City. Repeal a portion of Amendment 3 » Eliminate the second part of
Utah's constitutional gay-marriage ban to avoid confusion about what
protections are the legal equivalent of marriage. Sponsor: Rep. Jackie
Biskupski, D-Salt Lake City.
2009 Buttars'
committee kills first gay-rights bill BY
ROSEMARY WINTERS THE
SALT LAKE TRIBUNE The
first of a series of gay-rights bills aimed at the 2009 Legislature died in the
Senate judiciary committee today. Sen.
Scott McCoy's SB 32 would have amended state law so that financial dependents -
besides spouses, parents and children - could sue if a breadwinner suffers a
wrongful death. It
is part of the four-bill Common Ground Initiative being pushed by Equality Utah
to expand legal protections offered to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender
(LGBT) Utahns. A
standing-room only crowd listened to two hours of testimony for and against the
bill before the committee, headed by Sen. Chris Buttars, R-West Jordan,
declined, in a 4-2 vote, to send the measure to the Senate floor. Only McCoy,
D-Salt Lake City, and his Democratic colleague Ross Romero voted in favor of
the bill. McCoy's
measure would have benefited same-sex couples but also other nontraditional
households, such as one in which a grandmother relies on a grandson for
financial support. Unlike spouses, parents and children, a wrongful-death
designee would have to prove a financially dependent relationship with the
victim to go to court. McCoy
said he plans to introduce the bill again in the 2010 session.
2010 Dustin Lance Black, narrator
of 8: The Mormon Proposition By Jesse Fruhwirth Salt Lake City Weekly Dustin
Lance Black, who won an Academy Award in 2009 for the screenplay to Milk,
narrates the documentary 8: The Mormon Proposition, which premiered at the
Sundance Film Festival Jan. 24. A gay Mormon who grew up in Texas and
California, Black has used his celebrity to further gay rights. While in town
for Sundance, he spoke at Equality Utah’s “Joyous Sound for Common Ground” at
the Capitol and spent “all but six hours” of his weekend in Salt Lake City, not
Park City. What was your impression of Salt Lake City’s gay community? I’ve
been to Salt Lake City many times for visits with family and when we were
working on [HBO’s] Big Love [which Black once co-wrote]. What I didn’t know
[previously] is how active it seems everyone is, politically and socially. It
reminds me a lot of the divide and passion that I found when I was reading
about San Francisco in the late ’60s and early ’70s. … San Francisco was
traditionally a conservative area that was going through a sea of change. Do
you think being brought up Mormon outside of Utah contrasts significantly with
being a home-grown Mormon? Yes. You learned early on what it means to be a
minority and it’s comparable to being gay. There is terror associated with
coming out and kids being cruel. Do you think The Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints will eventually capitulate on the issue of homosexuality?
Yes. A lot goes to the conversations I’ve had with the rank-and-file in the
Mormon church. What these people are learning now—especially in Utah,
especially after the backlash of Proposition 8—is that they have gay and
lesbian family members who were hurt by the church leadership. I don’t think
any of them want to see their gay and lesbian kids excluded from heaven because
of words spoken from the pulpit. What would you say to people who refuse to see
8 because of claims that it’s untruthful or unfair? I would urge people to see
it before you make those sorts of judgments, because the evidence presented is
pretty clear. You and others involved in 8 have been villified by some
individuals, especially on the Internet, for voicing criticism of church
political activities. How does that feel? I’ve heard criticism from everything
I’ve ever done that’s mattered. It’s just a part of the game. In this case, I
think it’s very important that people speak out.
2016
2018
(KUTV)
-- Josh and Lolly Weed, viewed as proof, and used as an example, that a gay man
and a straight woman can make a successful Mormon marriage, have announced
their divorce. And in the same blog post where they announce their divorce,
they offered an apology to the LGBTQ community. "Today, we need to let you
know that Lolly and I are divorcing," the blog said this week, after
recounting the couple's accidental rise to the media spotlight when Josh Weed
came out as a gay LDS man who was faithful to his church and married to a
woman. They were in high demand to explain how they made the seemingly
contradictory lifestyles work together. The couple wrote, together and then
individually in the same blog post on Thursday, that they came to understand
over time that their deep platonic love was not a substitute for romantic love
and that such a relationship is vital to everyone's happiness. Lolly Weed
wrote: And that is what human beings need to be healthy. All of us. Romantic
attachment. It’s one of the main purposes of life! They explain at length how
they came to the realization. Josh Weed said three factors led him to believe
this was the case. Love for the LGBTQ population, Love
for himself as a gay person, The death of his mother. The couple rise to
notoriety came about because of a blog post -- that can no longer be found on
JoshWeed.com -- that, according to Josh, led them to be "featured on shows
and newspapers around the globe." That included a story on Nightline. Josh
works in his private practice as a licensed marriage and family therapist.
Included with the announcement and explanation about the couple's divorce was
an apology to the LGBTQ community. Among the specific things the Weeds
apologies for are: We’re sorry, so incredibly sorry, for the ways our post has
been used to bully others. And we’re sorry if our story made it easier for
people in your life to reject you and your difficult path as being wrong. We’re
sorry to any gay Mormon who received criticism, backlash, or hatred as a result
of our story. We’re sorry to anybody who felt a measure of false peace because
of our story. We’re
sorry to any LGBTQIA person who was given false hope by our story. Each of the
specific apologies came with longer explanations. Josh Weed also wrote that his
stance on homosexuality, that once aligned with that of the Church of Jesus
Christ of Latter-day Saints, had changed. "I have spent my entire life conforming
to every standard of the LDS faith because I believed it was what God wanted me
to do. "I believed this because every mentor, every exemplar, every
religious teacher, every therapist, every leader I ever grew up listening to
and trusting told me that that was the only way I could return to live with
God. There was an emphasis on “perfect obedience” and yet, over the course of
my lifetime, the list of things said by these trusted leaders about my sexual
orientation was profoundly inconsistent and
confusing." Josh Weed listed a number of those things, which
included: My sexual orientation wasn’t real, My sexual orientation was evil, My
sexual orientation was an abomination, My sexual orientation was tantamount to
bestiality and just shy of murder, My sexual orientation could change in this
life if I had enough faith, My sexual orientation was a “trial” to bear, My
sexual orientation maybe couldn’t change in this life after all, My sexual
orientation could be managed with faith, My sexual orientation could be endured.
Lolly Weed also wrote that many of her friends and community expressed to her,
upon learning of the divorce, empathized with her and say she deserved the
romantic connection, but few felt that empathy for her husband. The thing
that’s so interesting to me is how few people think of Josh in this way. How
few people in his life have ever thought these things about him—things that are
so obvious, so clear, so emphatic when talking to another straight person. I
mean, isn’t the same true for LGBT people? Shouldn’t we feel the exact same
intuitive injustice at the thought of them deserving to be “loved like that”? When
the tables are turned and we are talking about LGBTQ individuals, somehow
people don’t see the parallels. Why am I, as a straight person, entitled to
reciprocal, requited romantic love while an LGBTQ individual is not? The blog
post says the couple and their children will continue to be close and will
continue to love each other. "We can continue to be the family we have
always been, and we can add to that family," they wrote. Weed
emailed KUTV this statement: "In posting, we hoped to let those who
followed our story five years ago know the reality of our situation. We also
wanted to apologize to the LGBTQIA community and to anybody who was hurt by our
story over the last five years. Thanks
so much! Josh"
2016
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