JULY 28th
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| Michelangelo |
1533-Artist Michelangelo wrote to Tommaso Cavaleri, "I could
as easily forget your name as the food by which I live; nay, it would be easier
to forget the food, which only nourishes my body, than your name, which
nourishes both body and soul."
1900 Park Record From the Outside page 1 Frank Billings, a roustabout, employed in the
White House Salt Lake was arrested Sunday charged with Sodomy.
1958 Con Denies Escape- Point of the Mountain (AP) A Utah State
inmate reported missing during a roll call Sunday night appeared for breakfast
today and denied that he attempted an escape. Robert L Dripps, 19, Layton told
officers he had spent the night in another cell because he “wanted to hide from
other inmates”. He served one month of a
one to twenty year term for forgery and a three to twenty year term for sodomy.
Prison officers said a dummy was found in his bunk during the Sunday night
check. Ogden Standard Examiner
1976-The San Francisco Department
of Health reported an outbreak of Gastrointestinal disorders among Gay men,
especially shigellosis and amoebic dysentery.
1986-Republican Gov George
Deukmejian of California vetoed a bill which would have
protected people with
AIDS from discrimination in housing and employment.
1986-Resurrection Metropolitan
Community Church took possession of new church building located at 823 South
600 East Salt Lake City, Utah
1987- Arthur Bressan died of
complications from AIDS. He was an American filmmaker. Although the bulk of his
output was in the gay pornography genre, he also wrote and directed Buddies.
Released in 1985, Buddies was the first American feature film on the subject of
the AIDS pandemic. Other films included Gay USA (1978), an early documentary
film about the burgeoning gay rights movement in America that came at a time
when that movement was facing backlash from such people as Anita Bryant; and
Abuse (1983), a dramatic film about a young effeminate boy who seeks out an
older gay man to escape his parents, who torture him in their home.
1987- Salt Lake Affirmation met
and the topic discussed was “What Do We Fear About Being Queer?” About 15
people in attendance
1988 We had a last
minute Beyond Stonewall meeting with James Connolly, Ken Francis, Mike Buck,
Neil Hoyt, John Reeves, and myself. We have about 70 people signed up all
together. We tried to work out last minute details. John Reeves is really bummed out because he
didn’t get his job and nothing seems to be falling in place for him here in
Utah
1990- Mike Pipkim and I went to the Trading Post and to
other leather shops to buy some craft items to work on. I want to make a shamen
stick. I still haven't resolved my
feelings about leather. I bought two
white rabbit skins and I asked forgiveness from the spirits of the rabbits and
said I was making a thing of beauty and that I would honor them with
it. I hope they accepted my
supplication. Later I went to the park at Memory Grove to work on my craft and
Michael was drinking tequila and vodka. I sat under a shady tree in Memory
Grove and Tim Van Were, that young man I connected with last spring, saw me and
came and joined Michael and I. Rocky O’Donovan who had been in the park saw us
also and came over to sit with us. About 5 PM, Mike said that he had a vision
and that we were supposed to be at Bare
Ass Beach.
Far be it for me to interfere with a vision, so I said okay, even though my van
was sitting on empty and we would have to get gas. At first I thought is this just an alcohol
induced vision but later I had my own confirmation that it wasn't so in no
time, Rocky, Mike, Timothy, and I were on our way to Bare Ass Beach for an impromptu Faerie
ritual. Tim told us that his Faerie name
was "Little Bull". At Bare Ass Beach, the wind blew from the north and
we found a spit of sand to stake as a Faerie
Circle and there we did Magick and a ritual. We
gave Tim a re-birthing
and watched the golden Sun send his lavenders and
tangerines and magentas across Antelope
Island to reflect on the mirrored surface
of the Great Salt Lake. We playfully covered ourselves with salty mud
and went out into the Salt
Lake to wash ourselves,
feeling renewed in the salt of the earth.
We were surrounded by the smell of sage and grass and I found some sea
gull bones to put on my Shaman stick.
Powerful stuff but exhausting! It
was ten PM before finally dropping Tim and Rocky off. I wanted to go home to get the sand off me
but Mike insisted that we drive down Broadway and Main. That was his undoing. Still high, he wanted
me to go with him up to the parking terrace to see the hole in the ground being
dug in the middle of the block. I said no
that I was not going and I don't think you should either. But Mike being compulsive, bull headed, and drunk could
not be stayed. I waited for him until almost midnight before I got fed up and
went home. I figured
he got picked up by
some trick. As soon as I got home however the phone was ringing. Mike had been
arrested and taken to jail. Fortunately
Willie Marshall was home and he got him out. From what Michael said, I guess
almost as soon as he went into the parking terrace he was arrested for
trespassing and because he got mad at the cop, threw his coke can down on the
ground and it rolled towards the cop, the bastard-pig also arrested him for
assault. This dude was just out
to harass fags. Official fag bashing. On
a busy Saturday night, this cop had nothing better to do but hang out in a
garage terrace and watch an area that the cop himself called a "known
homosexual cruising area". The jerk was probably a closet case who gets
his jollies harassing Gays. Boy do I feel safer now with Officer Robinson
keeping Fags off the street. [Journal of Ben Williams]
 |
| David S Young |
1996 The Salt Lake Tribune- Utah's Judiciary Elections May Be Less
Routine This Year By Paul Rolly The most contentious campaign this fall may
come in the normally nondescript judicial retention election, even though the
focus will be on the ho-hum race for governor, three somewhat more exciting
congressional elections and the attorney general's contest. Several of the 39
judges up for retention this year quietly have expressed concern to colleagues
and members of the Judicial Conduct Commission about being on the same ballot
as 3rd District Judge David S. Young. For the past two years, Young has
received unflattering publicity in the Utah
and national press generated by allegations he is biased against women. The
National Organization for Women has promised a vigorous campaign against Young,
although recent interviews with some of the main players show there is
confusion over how to actually do that. Utah Supreme Court Chief Justice
Michael Zimmerman, an advocate of the retention election system created 10
years ago, acknowledges some judges are concerned about being on the ballot in
the middle of a potential firestorm of negative publicity aimed at the
judiciary. Zimmerman cites the "Rose Bird phenomenon" as an historical
matrix for the judges' concern. Bird, chief justice of the California Supreme
Court in the 1980s, became a lightning rod for criticism as the court
consistently overturned death sentences. When she was on the ballot for
retention in the late '80s, she was defeated, as were two other Supreme Court
judges on the ballot with her. But Zimmerman says it may not be a fair
comparison. "California voters are more
inclined to throw out incumbents than are Utah voters." He cited the case of
veteran Utah trial judge Don Tibbs, who
presided over the 6th Judicial District in Central Utah.
Tibbs had drawn fire from law enforcement officials for rulings favorable to
defendants in criminal cases. A formal complaint was filed against him by a
police chief and the southern Utah
press was critical of the judge. When Tibbs was up for retention in the early
1990s he was retained by more than 60 percent of the vote. He retired in 1994.
A cloud over the retention election process is seeded by complaints that while
judges run on their own record, with no opponent, the public is not allowed a
full view of that record. Most complaints before the Judicial Conduct
Commission remain secret. Since the commission was created in 1977, only one
judge has been publicly reprimanded. The State Judicial Council surveys
attorneys about judges up for retention. In the future, the survey will include
jurors. The judges must score 70 percent approval or better on at least 10 of
the 13 survey questions in order to be certified. If a judge does not meet that
minimum standard, he or she will appear on the ballot without the
recommendation of certification. In the 10 years of such elections, no judge
has failed to be certified. In fact, this is the first year that a judge
appearing on the ballot received less than 70 percent on any question. And
there were two. Young received less than 70 percent on Question No. 2: Does the
judge weigh all evidence fairly and impartially before rendering a decision?
Third District Judge Homer Wilkinson scored below 70 percent on three
questions: Does the judge apply the law to the facts of the case? Does the
judge clearly explain the basis of oral decisions? Does the judge write
decisions in a clear and coherent manner? Critics claim the closed nature of
the Judicial Conduct Commission protects judges from scrutiny. Also, some
judges note that the aura of secrecy paints them all with a brush of suspicion.
Zimmerman says while no judge has failed to win certification, some judges have
retired or declined to run for retention when faced with survey results. Others
have improved in the areas they had relatively low scores. Mary Coelho, a
former litigant in Young's court and a vocal critic of the judge, says about 80
people so far have discussed a campaign against Young. Coelho says she has
discussed the danger of impugning other judges by association. "We are
trying to be very careful to target just Judge Young." She says
fund-raising efforts will begin soon and her group hopes to run radio and
television ads. Utah
NOW President Lucy Malin says the campaign may stick to word-of-mouth and
mailings. She said her advisers worry about libel and slander issues. David
Nelson, founder of Gay and Lesbian Utah Democrats, says his group will spend
about $2,000 for a "Vote No on Young" campaign that will focus on
direct mailing and "perhaps a billboard." The gay community was
outraged when Young gave a lenient sentence two years ago to a confessed killer
who admitted tracking down a gay Park
City man and shooting him
in the head. Steve Stewart, executive director of the Judicial Conduct
Commission, says the Code of Judicial Conduct specifies that if a campaign is
launched against a judge, a committee can be formed on behalf of the judge to
raise money and launch a counter campaign. Names of attorneys who donate or
decline to donate must be kept confidential. Most of those involved in the
judiciary, even critics, agree the current system is better than the old
contested elections where judges had to raise money, often from attorneys, to
campaign against an opponent. One campaign for the Utah Supreme Court between
incumbent E.R. Callister and challenger Richard Maughan in the '70s became
nasty and personal. Each side questioned the other's integrity and competence,
which, judicial observers agree, didn't do much for court integrity. The
weakness of the contested elections became apparent in '78 when Homer
Wilkinson, the judge who scored below 70 percent on three questions this year,
filed to run against 3rd District Judge Marcellus K. Snow. Snow died before the
election. Wilkinson claimed he was rightful heir to the seat because he was the
only other person on the ballot. Gov. Scott Matheson argued the death left an
opening and he should appoint a replacement. The Supreme Court ruled in favor
of Wilkinson.
1996 Allen Woodruff Stokes, age 81, a Gay friendly Quaker
Activist of Logan, Utah, died. He sought
to gain greater understanding of and tolerance for gays and lesbians and was a
member of the Gay- Lesbian Alliance at Utah State University for many years. He was a
birth-right member of the Religious Society of Friends. He and his wife, Alice were founders of the
Logan Meeting and have been active ever since.
2001 Workshop set Monday at
Gay-Lesbian Center Deseret News Published: Saturday, July 28, 2001 A
"Building Bridges Workshop" will be held Monday, July 30, from 8:30
a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Gay and Lesbian Community Center, 361 N. 300 West. The
event is designed for Catholic clergy and laity, educators, counselors, social
workers, gays and lesbians and their family members. Registration cost at the
door is $55. For more information, call 539-8800.
2004 De-Classified FBI Records; A
Treasure Trove for Gay Historians By John Emery Reading thru the 150 pages of
de-classified FBI surveillance records of the Gay Activists Alliance, I have
been able to learn who some of the major players were in the early gay rights
movement. My research involved finding the earlier origins for the First
National March on Washington in 1979. These efforts have been hampered by the
absolute lack of historical records in some cases and the lack of on-line archives
in others. Some of the best sources have been recorded interviews with the few
remaining survivors (bless you IN THE LIFE) and FBI records. The karmic payback
of J Edgar Hoover's homophobia and obsession with the "radical"
homosexuals who insisted on "coming out", was the exhaustive records
left for today's gay historians. Perhaps J Edgar and Roy Cohen are rolling in
their fire pits of hell, knowing that we have hundreds of documents laying out
who, what, where, how and why of our early gay history. For the makers and
keepers of these early activist records, came possible consequences comparable
to today's kiddy-porn collectors. Many of the 1940's and 1950's gay activists
were Marxists. The 1950's McCarthy witch-hunts cleared the ranks of these
"pinko commie fags" and it wasn't until the mid 1960's that the
socialist gay movement picked up steam again. The activists need for secrecy combined
with J Edgar and Roytoy Cohen's obsessions gave us heretofore missing gaps in
our history. Thanks to the efforts of the FBI, we now know of more people
deserving of honor, in the gay annals of history. Amongst others, the
COINTELPRO surveillance programs in the 1960's and 1970's included the Black
Civil Rights movement, the anti-war movement and the women's movement;
including the efforts to pass ERA. These investigations followed the women who
later served in the post-ERA lesbian and gay movement, who were our experienced
backbone from the mid 1970's. The FBI was concerned that the defeat of ERA would
cause a radical backlash. This backlash, they feared, would manifest thru the lesbian and gay
movement, in the form of riots and domestic terrorism. Their fears are laughable
in today's perspective and are worthy of an epic comedy, or at least a Mad-TV
skit (visualize J Edgar Hoover in Islamic drag, spying on drag queens and lipstick
lesbians for make-up tips, pretending it's for Homeland Security). In 1965, a
tradition started of lesbians and gays marching on July 4th in Philadelphia,
the city of love. These peaceful, respectful and quick marches were some of the
early roots for the first national march on Washington. It was at these marches
where people risked arrest, incarceration and hospitalization for their
courage; not to mention jobs, homes and family. July 4th of 2005 will mark the
40th anniversary of these early first marches. These more known events are
contrasted with the FBI's intelligence, which include later obscure events,
including a little sit-in on July 30, 1971. According to FBI records, 170
people demonstrated at City Hall in Bridgeport Conn., a soiree organized by the
Kalos Society-Gay Liberation. Personally, I probably would never have heard of
this little ACT-UP grandpa, if it weren't for J Edgar's obsessive need to know
what his fellow gays were wearing after Memorial
Day. Another little factoid revealed in the de-classified records, concern the
FBI's worries that gays would try and disrupt the Republican and Democratic
National Conventions in 1972. Imagine all that time wasted in 1972, following
gay activists while G Gordon Liddy and his gang from CREEP (their own acronym
for the Committee to Re-elect the President), were breaking into nearby
Watergate offices. Makes you wonder how much time the FBI is wasting on simliar
"Curve Balls" of intelligence in 2004; with the gays all in a twitter
over constitutional amendments banning their basic human rights and all. What
laws, currently being violated by today's CREEP, are being ignored while the
FBI worries obout gays disrupting the 2004 Republican and Democratic
Conventions? Perhaps the de- classified files 20 years from now will be able to
fill-in gaps in our present sloppy recording of gay history. Today, the
Christian-hate mouthpieces in Congress warn of "The Dangers to National
Security of Homosexuals Destroying the Sacred Institution of Marriage"
while Rep. Nancy Pelosi points out the immediate and real threat to national
security, the Bin Laden network. Yet again, our country's surveillance systems
are given backseat to Christian-hate politicians. Meanwhile, the hate- Christians
are probably slipping by the incompetent FBI, once again. For these and other
tid-bits, the Freedom of Information Act official website is a treasure trove
of gay history. To J Edgar Hoover, wherever you're rolling, my wigs and heels
are off to you. It's too bad they didn't bury you in your favorite drag outfit;
because every good drag queen, worth her tips, ALWAYS wears flame retardant
wigs and pantyhose - dahling.
© John Emery, All Rights Reserved
- USHS
Note: http://foia.fbi.gov/ is the website for Freedom of Information
Site...for all you radical Lambda activists from the 70's and 80's check
out if you have a file on you. A former co founder of the Gay and Lesbian
Historical Society of Utah always insisted that he did. The LDS Church
uses a lot of ex-FBI agents in their Church Security headquarters
(formerly known as the DANITE Den- I am only joking! Don't kill me). For
those who only read this site for some dirt, the first FBI agent convicted
of treason was a Mormon who was committing adultery with a Russia Spy. I
thought it was suppose to be only Gays who couldn't be trusted for security
clearances because they might get black mailed HA! All is Well!
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| Howard Johnson |
2005 Sexual liaison with
teen boy brings jail term for lawyer met
in chat room: The attorney was HIV-positive, and knew it, when he met with the
youth at his home By Stephen Hunt The Salt Lake Tribune Page: B1 A Utah
attorney who knew he was HIV-positive when he had sex with a 14-year-old boy
two years ago was sentenced Wednesday to probation and 90 days in jail. Third
District Judge Timothy Hanson said he was not imposing jail time because Howard
P. Johnson is gay or HIV-positive, but because he committed a crime. "There has to be some punitive sanction,
and 90 days is about right,"said Hanson.
Johnson, 51, who met the boy in an Internet chat room, is not a
pedophile or a predator, according to defense attorney John Caine. "But he
has had some lapses in judgment." The judge agreed, saying that when the
boy appeared on Johnson's doorstep in Salt Lake City, the defendant should have
sent him away. "You are an attorney. I expect more from an attorney,"
the judge said. Johnson was charged with two counts of first-degree felony
forcible sodomy and one second-degree felony count of enticing a minor over the
Internet. He pleaded guilty to reduced counts of third-degree felony unlawful
sexual activity with a minor and class A misdemeanor enticing a minor over the
Internet. When the teen arrived at Johnson's home on Oct. 15, 2003, Johnson
answered the door naked and the two engaged in oral and anal sex. The boy wore
a condom, but later grew concerned about HIV because of some vials he saw in
Johnson's bedroom. The teen was tested for HIV and the results were negative.
Health officials reported the case to police. Johnson told authorities he
believed the boy was an adult. But prosecutor Paul Amann said the victim
"appears young" to the extent that no one would have any doubt about
his youth. Caine called the victim "a sophisticated 14-year-old who had
his own Web site and was seeking activity." Caine suggested home
confinement instead of jail time. But Amann - who requested a one-year sentence
for Johnson – noted that Johnson claims he is "always naked at home,"
and that he answers the door in the nude when receiving postal and pizza
deliveries. "He's a person with no boundaries," said Amann. The
prosecutor also claimed that when, as part of a pre-sentence evaluation,
Johnson's sexual proclivities were tested with a device that measures blood
flow to the penis, Johnson tried to defeat the test "by flexing and
relaxing his pelvis muscles." Amann also said Johnson has blamed the
victim for what happened. Johnson made no comment in court, but had written a
letter to the judge in which he took responsibility and apologized to the
victim, Caine said. "He realized he'd crossed the line. But he did feel
that the victim bore some responsibility." Now that Johnson has been
sentenced, he faces possible disbarment. "My assumption is that if someone
is convicted of a crime of moral turpitude, which this is, you'll be
disbarred," Amann said after the hearing.
- 2005 --SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- A
lawyer infected with the virus that causes AIDS has been sentenced to 90 days
in jail and probation for having sex with a 14-year-old boy he first met in an
online chat room. Howard P. Johnson, 51,
pleaded guilty to reduced counts of third-degree felony unlawful sexual activity
with a minor and misdemeanor enticing a minor over the Internet. He was
sentenced Wednesday in 3rd District Court. Judge Timothy Hanson said he was not
imposing jail time because Johnson is gay or because he is HIV-positive. "There has to be some punitive sanction,
and 90 days is about right," said Hanson. Defense attorney John Caine said
Johnson was not a predator or a pedophile but "has had some lapses in
judgment." The judge agreed, saying
that when the boy appeared on Johnson's doorstep in Salt Lake City, Johnson
should have sent him away. "You are an attorney. I expect more from an
attorney," the judge said. Johnson
originally was charged with two counts of first-degree felony forcible sodomy
and one second-degree felony count of enticing a minor over the Internet. When
the boy arrived at Johnson's home on Oct. 15, 2003, Johnson answered the door
naked and the two engaged in sex. The boy wore a condom, but later grew
concerned about HIV because of some vials he saw in Johnson's bedroom. The teen
was tested for the virus and the results were negative. Health officials
reported the case to police. Johnson told authorities he believed the boy was
an adult. But prosecutor Paul Amann said the victim "appears young"
to the extent that no one would have any doubt he was underage. Caine suggested home confinement instead of
jail time for Johnson. But Amann -- who requested a one-year sentence for
Johnson -- noted that Johnson claims he is "always naked at home,"
and that he answers the door in the nude when receiving postal and pizza
deliveries. "He's a person with no boundaries," said Amann. Johnson
made no comment in court but had written a letter to the judge in which he took
responsibility and apologized to the victim, Caine said. "He realized he'd
crossed the line. But he did feel that the victim bore some
responsibility," Caine said. Now that Johnson has been sentenced, he faces
possible disbarment. "My assumption is that if someone is convicted of a
crime of moral turpitude, which this is, you'll be disbarred," Amann said
after the hearing.
2005 Film &
Discussion – Center Space (6:30pm) Come watch a different type of reality show,
which Director Mark Saxenmeyer calls "Reality TV with a Purpose."
Experiment: Gay & Straight follows the lives of ten Chicago-area strangers,
five men and five women, during a one-week period in which they live together
in a three bedroom/three-bath house on the Windy City's north side. Their task
was to help bridge the gap between America's gay and straight communities, and
to forge better understanding between the two groups. Winner of seven film
awards, his film combines elements of popular entertainment like Survivor with
serious and sometimes explosive issues involving sexuality, human rights, and
discrimination. Much of what these participants say echoes the views of the general public – opinions
and feelings many people voice privately, but fear speaking aloud because of
the potential repercussions in our "politically correct" culture. In
The Experiment, the housemates are refreshingly and sometimes stunningly
honest. There is no tip-toeing around any issue whatsoever. Please bring your
straight friends and family for a frank discussion to follow, facilitated by the Salt Lake Film Center's
Development Officer, Naomi Lee.
 |
| Rocky Anderson |
2006 Rocky signs
national ad backing gay marriages NEW YORK (AP) — Three major gay-rights groups
started taking out full-page advertisements this week in 50 newspapers
nationwide declaring their determination to keep fighting for same-sex marriage
rights despite recent court setbacks. The media campaign will cost $250,000;
its organizers said it was the largest-ever purchase of print-advertising space
by gay-rights supporters. Roberta Sklar of the National Gay and Lesbian Task
Force said he ads would run in papers around the country, from The New York
Times to The Gazette of Cedar Rapids, Iowa, to gay weeklies in Houston,
Atlanta and San Diego. The ads feature photographs of
five same-sex couples who have been together as long as 53 years and are
endorsed by an array of organizations and individuals, including 11 religious
leaders and nine mayors. Salt Lake Mayor Rocky Anderson was among those who
signed the ad. Signatories of the ads also included the mayors of Boston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Seattle, Providence, R.I., Portland, Ore., West Sacramento, Calif.,
and Palm Springs,
Calif. GLAAD's executive director, Neil Giuliano, said the ad campaign was a
milestone because of the strong support from straight political and religious leaders
 |
| Gretchen Legler |
2006 The Queer Reader brings in Lesbian author! – Center Space
(7:00pm) On the Ice author Gretchen Legler will be here to discuss her book
about her adventures in Antarctica. We are
very fortunately to have the author here with us to discuss her book in person.
She will also do a reading and a book signing. This event is part of the Queer
Reader monthly Program of the Center and is co-sponsored by Sam Weller
Bookstore, who will be there selling the book at a 20% discount. This event is
free and open to all. Light refreshments will be served.
 |
| Michael Ferguson |
2016 Esquire Magazine "I Spent Seven
Years in Gay Conversion Therapy Programs Before Breaking Free"- As the GOP seems
to promote a renounced practice, one man speaks up. By Lorena O'Neil Jul 28, 2016 It began his
junior year at Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah: Michael Ferguson wanted
desperately to rid himself of the sexual feelings he had toward men. His Mormon
faith and his loving family would never understand. So he began to try to pray
the gay away.Thus began a seven-year journey through nine gay conversion
therapy programs, also called reparative therapy, which included hypnotherapy,
physical psychotherapy, evangelical spiritual groups, and a 12-step addiction
recovery program. Such treatments were designed to "cure"
homosexuality by changing a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. The
American Psychological Association, the American Medical Association, the
American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics have
condemned such practices. President Obama supported a national ban, and some
states have already passed such legislation. But gay conversion therapy
has re-entered the national spotlight after a draft of the GOP's official 2016
platform—much farther to the right than in years past, and far more
conservative than Donald Trump's own positions—contained language that seemed
to support its implementation and use. Underneath a subsection titled
"Protecting Individual Conscience in Healthcare," one line reads,
"We support the right of parents to determine the proper medical treatment
and therapy for their minor children." Ferguson began to try to pray
the gay away. The man most responsible for that language is Tony Perkins, head
of the Family Research Council and an official committee member of the
Republican Platform 2016. Time reports that Perkins
"originally drafted a more explicit embrace" of conversion therapy,
but walked it back after meeting with top RNC officials. CNN asked
Perkins for clarification on the change and he said: "It's what it says,
it's whatever therapy that a parent wants to get for a minor child. There's
states that are trying to restrict what parents can do for loving their
children. Parents have a better idea I think than legislators or government
bureaucrats." (The official platform now reads: "We likewise
support the right of parents to consent to medical treatment for their
children, including mental health treatment, drug treatment, and treatment
involving pregnancy, contraceptives and abortion.") Furthermore, news
recently resurfaced that Donald Trump's running mate, Mike Pence, during his
first successful run for Congress in 2000, supported gay conversion therapy,
writing on his campaign website, "Resources should be directed toward
those institutions which provide assistance to those seeking to change their
sexual behavior." Meanwhile, Ferguson renounced his attempts to change his
sexual orientation and was a plaintiff in the first landmark court decision to
address reparative therapy. The 2015 ruling found that New Jersey-based
conversion therapy organization JONAH (Jews Offering New Alternatives for
Healing) had committed consumer fraud, and the organization was ordered to pay
the plaintiffs more than $70,000 in refunds. The program eventually shut down
completely. Ferguson is now out and married to a man. In light of the GOP's
seeming embrace of the programs that did him so much harm, Ferguson shared his
story with Esquire.
ESQ: How do you respond to the
Republican platform's alleged allusions to conversion therapy?
Michael Ferguson: It's pretty
horrifying to see that the Republican platform included coded language for
increasing the permissiveness of conversion therapy. You see this aligning of
rhetoric on the right to create a narrative that religious liberty is under
attack.
Were you surprised to see it come
up?
I honestly was. Conversion therapy
is one of those topics—even with people who are very biased against civil
liberties and equalities for LGBT people—where people see what it looks like
and how it operates and they are appalled.
Why did you start going to
conversion therapy?
I grew up really happy in Mormonism.
When I was on my mission I disclosed for the first time to a leader in the
church that I was experiencing same-sex attraction. He told me to think really
vividly of the crucifixion of Jesus and the nails going into his hands. He was
prescribing mental-shock therapy, a form of aversion therapy. Later, while
enrolled at Brigham Young University, a bishop advised me to begin conversion
therapy with a professional psychologist at the university's counseling center.
Did you believe it was going to
work?
I totally had faith in it. I was
counseled by the priesthood leader that this was something he had helped a lot
of people overcome and that it was just a matter of turning down the dimmer
switch on my attraction to men and turning up the dimmer switch on my
attraction to women.
How many different kind of
conversion therapy programs did you try?
I started in 2004 at BYU and was
involved in various conversion therapy attempts through 2011. I tried nine
different modalities, including an evangelical Christian group that tried to
"pray the gay away" and a 12-step addiction recovery program because
one bishop advised me that my same sex attraction was related to being addicted
to attention from men.
Could you describe some of the
exercises you were taught?
At the Journey Into Manhood retreat
they used a psychodrama approach. We were deprived of all communication: no
computer, no phone, no watches, no clocks. You create scenarios with groups and
act them out to do high emotional arousal role-play. The whole weekend is full
of them. In one exercise a group of twelve men formed a human barricade and
someone had to break through to grab a pair of oranges on the other side. The
oranges represented symbolically reclaiming your testicles. The idea behind it
is that you were homosexual because either your mother had metaphorically
castrated you and made you lose touch with your male power, or society had
emasculated and feminized you.
What would the person do after
grabbing the oranges?
They were coaxed to squeeze them and
get really worked up and roar and be this primal man that bites oranges and
shoves them down their pants. It's pretty Lord of the Flies stuff.
Can you explain what "healthy
touch" is?
At Journey Into Manhood the staff
would model various holding positions for the participants and would instruct
us to select someone to hold us and give us "golden father energy."
What is "golden father
energy?"
People that have a certain type of
energy that can heal your childhood wounds. Somebody who possesses magical
"golden father energy" will be able to help unbind you from these
developmental wounds that you are carrying. It's part of the overall ideology
of the program. A golden child is a child that was inherently straight but who
was screwed up by their parents. You have to find the innocent place before you
go off-track and start on the path to homosexuality. The first introduction to
healthy touch is having one man seated on the ground while another puts his
head in his lap and the first man strokes his shoulder. The deeper that you get
into these communities, the more physically intimate the positions become.
Did you ever enter a relationship
with any of the men?
Yes, one of the counselors from Journey
into Manhood did end up becoming a sexually active partner. What do you expect
to happen if you have these men who are extraordinarily sexually repressed and
very isolated enter a world with men in the exact same situation and put them
in high levels of emotional and physical intimacy? Of course feelings are going
to start emerging between people.
How did you and the counselor feel
about your relationship?
At the time we were in denial about
what was happening. We were sublimating all of our contact and our intimacy
into saying, "This is helping us to get to a place where we won't need
this anymore."
Was it common for counselors and
therapists to be gay?
Most of the men who I have
encountered who do conversion therapy themselves are attracted to men.
You testified that you took part in
"holding nights." Can you explain those?
After a Journey Into Manhood
retreat, you're now in contact with all of these other closeted
gay men who are
trying to make it work in their faith community or to marry a woman or to
sustain a marriage they are already in with a woman. A holding night involves
getting an invitation to go to somebody's house. Thirty or forty guys are all
lying down on couches or the floor and holding each other in cradling
positions. Men are in dyads or tryads all over the house. You play Enya-like
new age music in the background. It's a very intimate physical and emotional
space. The theory is that America just doesn't have a cultural space for normal
male intimacy so we need to create these spaces ourselves.
Are people clothed?
The ones that I went to, yes. I have
heard of some ones that were not.
What would these groups do on other
nights?
You would get together and watch a
football game or a movie and talk about it. We watched Gladiator and
talked about the archetypes of masculinity. The idea was that if we get
together and immerse ourselves in all of this stereotyped male energy, real
masculinity would saturate into our minds and into our nature and that would
lead us to heterosexuality.
Were these groups religious?
The ones in Utah were overwhelmingly
Mormon.
Were there other kinds of exercises
you did?
There was a lot of bondage work. At
Journey Into Manhood, the person who was the subject of the psychodrama
selected someone from the group to represent their mother. That person put on
women's clothing — they had bras, wigs, dresses. They were coached to act out
the voice or presence of the first person's mother. I helped "hold
space" with about 12 other men and we stood in a circle around the two men
in the middle. The person who was the subject of the exercise was tied to the
man dressed in women's clothing, who would say all of these needy phrases like
"Don't ever leave me! I wont be able to exist without you!" There was
taunting. They said your mind is at its most malleable in a high emotional
arousal state, when you get to your deepest core self. You were tasked with
breaking away and escaping the ropes that were tying you to your mother. Then
they did an exercise with fathers. These exercises were all clothed but the
Journey Beyond retreat was almost exclusively disrobed.
Journey Beyond is usually the
retreat people go to after Journey Into Manhood, correct?
Yes there are induction levels
within these communities. If you successfully prove your sincerity that you
really want to overcome sexual attraction and you don't "act out"
with any men for a period of sexual sobriety, then you are qualified to do the
Journey Beyond retreat. You go even deeper into your psyche and you take even
more of your clothes off.
Why did you not attend that one?
It was partly financial. As a
student who was in the closet, I wasn't able to ask any family members for
assistance. It's not like the JONAH program was billed to insurance. So all of
these retreats and $100 private sessions add up.
What happened at your private
sessions?
I had a hypnotherapy session. It was
based on the unfortunately widespread theory that your homosexuality is related
to absentee fathering and not having same-sex peers when you were developing,
and that you projected sexual desire onto the absence of these male
relationships in your life. It's totally nonsense. Under hypnosis I was
supposed to regress back to these places where the emotional attachment to my
father supposedly should have been. Once I was hypnotized the therapist told me
I needed to take off your clothes in order to take off more of my inhibitions.
He said that because of my addiction to men, he was inducing deeper hypnosis.
He said that he needed to be the one I was attached to so strongly that it was
going to feel like an addiction. That this was the only way to dig deep enough
into my emotional memories and create an attachment to men and meet these
unfulfilled needs from childhood development. Then, once they were met, I would
be released from my homosexuality. He blindfolded me and had me undress myself
completely.
Reporter's note: Michael was
uncomfortable going on the record about the details of what happened after he
got undressed during hypnosis.
Why was it important for you to try
and change your sexual orientation? What was your ultimate goal?
So I could go to the celestial
kingdom where I would live in the presence of God for eternity. The only way to
do that in the Mormon tradition is through a heterosexual marriage.The
psychodrama stuff is really common and it's really disturbing. It might seem
like I'm harping on the religious component but it's hard to separate
religiousness from conversion therapy and the actual practice of it.
What made you stop going?
The hypnotism incident broke through
and forced me to reevaluate. Because of the mental devastation that followed, I
really deconstructed and closely scrutinized the assumptions and the levels of
trust that I had placed into different claims and into different people.
How did you feel when you won the
JONAH lawsuit?
I felt like a weight came off of my
chest.
What would you tell someone
contemplating conversion therapy?
Please learn from my pain. Please
learn from what I tried for years and years to do and what I spent thousands
and thousands of dollars trying to do. Please learn what other people are
sharing so you don't have to go through wasted, painful years.
What can be done to help stop
conversion therapy?
There's a Therapeutic Fraud
Prevention Act sponsored by Congressman Ted Lieu of California. If passed, it
will put into law what has been articulated by professional organizations: that
efforts to change gender orientation or identity therapeutically are fraudulent
in nature.
Do you still see it as a big problem
in the U.S.?
It's still being used and being
advertised openly. These programs are active. JONAH had to shutdown but Journey
Into Manhood is run by an organization based in Virginia and is still going.
Reporter's Note: The People Can Change website advertises for
the Journey Into Manhood retreat, with a calendar of upcoming events including
retreats in Indiana, Utah, Poland, Texas and California in the next three
months. They say the retreat is not
religious in nature, but it is "immersion in intensive emotional-healing
work, designed specifically for men who are self-motivated and serious about
resolving unwanted homosexual attractions." This past February, the Southern
Poverty Law Center, the Human Rights Campaign, and the National Center for
Lesbian Rights filed a complaint with the Federal Trade Commission against
People Can Change for "unfair, deceptive and fraudulent charges."
Have you had anybody reach out to
you following the lawsuit?
My original conversion therapist at
BYU private messaged me and apologize to me. He said 'I'm so sorry that I was
misled at the time.' He has since renounced anything that he did to make us
feel like we were less than we are worth as human beings. I was very pleasantly
shocked.
Now you are married, correct?
Yes, my husband and I live in
Ithaca. I'm a post-doctoral fellow in the human neuroscience institute at
Cornell University. Part of the reason why I pursued an academic path that
involved cognition and neuroscience and psychology is because I was trying to
understand what was wrong with me and how I could fix it. What's beautiful is in that process
of digging deeply into neuroscience, I realized there's nothing wrong with me.
It's actually beautiful to be gay.
2018 Imagine Dragons' singer says his LoveLoud
Festival — which brought 30,000 to Rice-Eccles Stadium — is all about heart By Eric Walden • Imagine Dragons' singer says
his LoveLoud Festival — which brought 30,000 to Rice-Eccles Stadium — is all
about heart By Eric Walden In 2017, the inaugural LoveLoud Festival — a concert
event conceived by Imagine Dragons frontman Dan Reynolds to raise awareness,
support and money for at-risk lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youths —
drew 17,000 people to Orem’s Brent Brown Ballpark.For Saturday’s follow-up,
more than 30,000 people flooded Rice-Eccles Stadium in Salt Lake City. Asked
what that indicated to him about the progress of a state where the predominant
Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints — a faith he is a part of — teaches
that to act on same-sex attraction is a sin, Reynolds clapped his hands
enthusiastically and let out a whoop. “The people and the community want to
love our LGBTQ youth. Period. And that’s the goal of LoveLoud,” he said in a
red carpet event hours before the concert began. "We’re not trying to
change doctrine. We know we can’t change orthodox religion. I don’t claim to be
able to do something like that. My mom said to me, ‘What do you think, you’re
gonna change the Mormon church?’ No. But I know enough Mormons, and I believe
in the hearts of people enough that, if we all talk, I think they’ll realize we
need to do better and we need to change. “I was taught as a Mormon that the
heart comes first. I was not taught ‘prophet, then heart.’ Right?” he added. “I
can tell you about false prophets. If a prophet tells you not to do it, well,
what does your heart say? My heart says this is wrong. So I’m following my
Mormon teachings!” The steps made so far and the steps that must come next were
familiar refrains during a pre-concert news conference. Lance Lowry, a Draper
native who last year served as the LoveLoud Festival’s executive director and
now holds that same role with the LoveLoud Foundation, marveled at how far the
organization has come. “One year ago at this time, we didn’t have a venue, we
didn’t have any sponsors,” Lowry said. “Now, we’re about to play in a football
stadium in Utah in front of 30,000 people who put their money where their mouth
is.” Reynolds, among others, wanted to push the narrative forward, though.
“The ultimate goal is that we don’t have to
have a LoveLoud Festival at all,” he said. “LGBTQ people should not have to
continually explain why they love who they love. … So the ultimate goal is to
not have this need to be a thing.” In the meantime, though, Lowry broached the
possibility of taking LoveLoud “to wherever it’s needed.” Tegan Quin, a member
of the Canadian pop duo Tegan and Sara who is a Lesbian and who became one of
the festival bookers this year, pointed out: “This is a problem all over the
country, all over the world — not just in Utah.” Stephenie Larsen, CEO and
founder of Encircle — an LGBTQ family and youth resource center, which is based
in Provo and will soon expand to Salt Lake City and St. George — noted that she
gets emails every day from young people in Alabama, in California, reaching out
for support and advice. A study by the Family Acceptance Project concluded that
“lesbian, gay and bisexual youth who come from highly rejecting families are
8.4 times as likely to have attempted suicide as peers who reported no or low
levels of family rejection.” And the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
has reported that suicide is the second-leading cause of death in the United
States for teenagers. “This is a public health crisis — not just in Utah but
across the country,” said Amit Paley, CEO and executive director of The Trevor
Project, a national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide
prevention services to LGBTQ youths. “LoveLoud is sending the message — you are
not alone, and you are beautiful the way you are.” Several speakers touched on
the frequently stated idea that for people struggling to reconcile their sexual
identity with an oft-contradictory religious upbringing, achieving better
mental health can be as simple as disavowing a religion. Tyler Glenn, singer of
the formerly Utah County-based alt-rock group Neon Trees and a former LDS
Church missionary, said that cutting ties with the church was ultimately his
best option. “It has been a hard journey; I don’t think it’s hard anymore. I
just discovered it’s not true," he said. “It doesn’t serve anything that I
am now. For years, they told me that I’m flawed, for years, they told me that
who I am is wrong.” Others pointed out, however, that not everyone can get to
that point, nor should they have to. “Often, religious communities tell LGBTQ
youth, ‘You have two choices: You can stay in the closet, hide yourself and be
a part of our church; or you can be cast out forever.’ A choice like that is no
choice at all,” said Jeffrey Marsh, an author who writes about gender queerness
and gender fluidity. “It’s almost like a choice between life and death. An
LGBTQ young person who has to choose between their family, their friends, their
school or their own happiness — what an awful, evil, false choice. We should live
in a world where LGBTQ youth are loved and accepted and have the support system
they need to live a full and happy life.” “It’s an extremely important message
that you can be a person of faith and also LGBTQ,” Paley added. “They’re not
mutually exclusive.” The LDS Church endorsed last year’s event, but it did not
renew its support for this year’s festival. Reynolds grew fiery when talking
about people telling him on social media that all the effort he was putting
into LGBTQ support was unnecessary — that gay people have gotten enough
attention and seen enough social change, and the issue is passé and played out.
“That is one of the saddest things to me,” he said, his jaw clenched. “That is
not a truth.” Many of LoveLoud’s invited speakers could personally attest to
that. Quin, of Tegan and Sara, recalled an ex-girlfriend from a conservative
community whose parents hacked into her email to confirm their relationship,
then banished her from their home unless she agreed to change. Grammy-winning
songwriter Justin Tranter, who took up a music career behind the scenes after
his band Semi Precious Weapons was dropped from one too many labels, recalled
being copied on an email to a video editor that said, “Hey, can you please edit
out this shot and this shot and this shot because Justin’s hands are moving in
too effeminate of a way?” He alternately called the experience “heartbreaking,”
“soul-crushing” and “a bit of a mind-[expletive].”
Paley, meanwhile, noted that conversion
therapy is legal in 37 states: “Young people are being sent to torture to erase
their sexual identities.” However, while there was an air of grim determination
at all the work still left to do, there was also a prevailing hopefulness.
After all, there were thousands upon thousands upon thousands of people pouring
into Rice-Eccles Stadium on Saturday for LoveLoud. Yes, its leaders
acknowledged, some were there just to catch a musical bill featuring the likes
of Imagine Dragons, Zedd, Linkin Park’s Mike Shinoda and teen singer-songwriter
Grace Vanderwaal. But many others of varying backgrounds, religions, and sexual
and gender identities bought tickets simply because the proceeds would go
toward raising $1 million to benefit local and national LGBTQ charities such as
Encircle, The Trevor Project, and the Tegan and Sara Foundation. “I wanna see
the headline, ‘Most Mormon state in the U.S. now has the lowest suicide rate
for LGBTQ youth,’” Reynolds said. “I wanna show the world that this can happen
in the last place you would ever think.”
